


FrostIron Headcanon One Shots

by SanityisOverrated



Category: Avengers, Frostiron - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Cutting, Darkness, F/M, Fluff, FrostIron - Freeform, Headcanon, M/M, Self Harm, Suicide Attempt, Triggers, one shots, suicide talk
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-12-15
Updated: 2012-12-27
Packaged: 2017-11-21 04:46:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/593594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SanityisOverrated/pseuds/SanityisOverrated
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>These are inspired by the Frost iron headcanons blog on Tumblr. Be sure to submit, I might be inspired! Or drop by my Tumblr, Hiddleschallenged, and tell me one of yours, I might write one based off of it ;)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Headcanon #114: Home at Last

 

 

_Headcanon #114:_ _**The first time Tony told Loki he loved him was one cold morning when he woke up several hours before the other. When Loki opened his eyes he stared right into them and said it. Loki froze, got[up and](http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8595295/5/FrostIron-Headcanon-Oneshots) walked out the door. Tony couldn't find him for weeks. One night he showed up at Tony's doorstep, soaked, held him so tight he lost his breath and whispered his confession back. Tony knew he was crying despite the rain. And he held him just as hard until morning came again.** _

* * *

Loki slowly opened his eyes, sleep clinging to him still. There was a soft touch on his hair and he smiled before looking towards the man beside him. Anthony was gazing at him, an expression in his eyes that Loki had never seen before.

"I love you," It was whispered softly, but Loki heard it as if it were shouted in his ear. The god froze, everything going still inside him.

Tony watched as Loki got up silently, clothes appearing on him.

"Loki, please, don't go." Tony said quickly, scrambling to put on a pair of pants. He followed silently as the god walked through the [apartment](http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8595295/5/FrostIron-Headcanon-Oneshots) and out the door. He shivered as he stood at the door watching the figure slowly fade away in the distance. The tightness in his throat and wetness in his eyes was because of how cold it was, he told himself. It was like a blatant repudiation, and it hurt. He grabbed a bottle of scotch and headed for his lab.

The next few weeks were hell for Tony. After a week of hearing or seeing nothing of Loki, he would often disappear for hours on end without telling anyone where he was going. They all knew he was looking for Loki, but even Thor hadn't a clue of his whereabouts, although he was more used to Loki disappearing and shrugged it off. Steve had to hold Tony back after that.

After a few weeks of looking for Loki day after day, Bruce noticed a harsh [cough](http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8595295/5/FrostIron-Headcanon-Oneshots) coming from Tony's bedroom. Knocking, he received a raspy 'Come in' that he had to strain his ears to hear. Not seeing Tony in the bedroom, he looked in the bathroom hesitantly and immediately rushed to the man's side.

"Tony! What's happened to you?" The man was pale, shivering violently and panting for breath. Bruce helped him to the bed, and felt his forehead. Tony was burning up. Bruce hissed in dismay and ran out of the room to get his medical supplies. The official diagnosis was early stages of [pneumonia](http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8595295/5/FrostIron-Headcanon-Oneshots).

Tony was ordered to stay in bed for the rest of the night, and couldn't go when the Avengers responded to a callout and then went out for a few drinks later that night. Feeling restless, he wandered around his living room in a haze with a drink in his hand listening to the rain outside. Hearing a knock at the door, he stopped and stared in that general direction with a confused look on his face. Any of the Avengers would just walk in, and he would know if S.H.I.E.L.D. were coming. So who had the nerve to knock at this hour, while it was raining as hard as it was?

Trying to shake the fog from his brain, Tony went to answer the door. Just as he grabbed the door knob, a weakness overcame him. Blinking the spots from his vision, he swung it open, using the door to stay upright. He barely had enough time to register that there was a soaking wet god on his door before he staggered back as the breath was squeezed out of him, quite literally.

Tony froze as Loki whispered three words in his ear that made everything so much clearer and sharper than before.

"I love you." They were incredibly simple, whispered into his ear, and they made the world move underneath his feet. He dimly registered the warm wetness trailing down his face as tears, instead of the rain he at first assumed it to be. Tony's arms wrapped around the dripping god on his doorstep and he leaned into the embrace, eyes closing, body relaxing for the first time since Loki had left.

"Tony? Tony!" Loki called as he suddenly felt how hot the man in his arms was.

"Jes need to lie down, it's all right," Tony slurred. "I couldn't find you... couldn't find you anywhere. Was so worried." He continued to mumble as Loki helped him to the bedroom. The god winced at his words, feeling the trembling and supporting most of Tony's weight. He helped him into bed, where Tony looked up at him with an expression so full of love that Loki's breath caught.

"I love you, my dear god of mischief. Don't leave me, please." The last part was whispered, voice breaking slightly. Loki climbed into bed beside him after drying his clothes, and Tony rolled to face him, tugging the god into his arms and holding him as tightly as he could. Tony buried his face in Loki's chest and mumbled "Don't go," again as he drifted to sleep.

Loki stared down at him, heart full. He had discovered one who accepted him for himself, and didn't plan on letting him go, ever. Tony's labored breathing concerned him though, so he lay a hand glowing with green over his chest, and discovered what was wrong. He frowned.

"He went looking for you during the storms we've had in the last few weeks," It was whispered softly from the doorway, and Loki looked up, startled. It was Bruce. He tensed, but the man stayed where he was, looking perfectly calm seeing him in bed with Tony.

"He stayed out, didn't take care of himself after you left. He has pneumonia, it's not bad, but he needs to take better care of himself. For his sake, don't leave again. For your own sake, don't do anything to hurt him, and I'll tolerate your presence." With that, Bruce turned and left.

Loki stared down at Tony, thinking. His hand absently carded itself through the mortals hair as he thought. Tony coughed wetly into his chest, but continued to sleep, breathing shallow and fast. Loki sighed, chest hurting with the fact that he had done this to the man.

Green magic flared, and Tony's breathing got better, body temperature just above normal, instead of burning up like it had been. Loki settled down and wrapped his arms around Tony, eyes closing to sleep.

* * *

Tony opened his eyes slowly. There was a hand going through his hair slowly, lovingly. He was wrapped around a cool body, arms hugging it close. He squinted up at the face slowly taking shape, head pounding, and saw Loki. The god was staring straight at him, expression soft, and Tony suddenly remembered the past few weeks events.

"I love you." Loki said softly. Tony froze for a moment as Loki watched him anxiously, before burying his head in the others chest and mumbling a "I love you too," back. Loki held him closer, his heart pounding in Tony's ears. Tony smiled and lifted his head up, catching Loki by surprise when he used one hand to pull the gods head down before kissing him soundly.

 


	2. Gifting a god

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ******Two days before Christmas...**  
  


“What is this?” Loki asked as he lifted up the box under the tree. Tony had only recently explained to the god what Christmas was and why they exchanged gifts. Loki had stared at him for a few minutes before shaking his head and muttering something that sounded suspiciously like “Mortals.”

“Ah! Don’t shake it,” Tony said suddenly as Loki tilted the box down with his ear to it in a long honored tradition when it came to Christmas gifts. Loki glanced at him, smirking just a bit.

“What would happen if I do?” he asked. Tony glared at him, something in his eyes telling Loki that it would definitely not be ok if he shook the box that contained his gift even as a joke. Really, it would only be a little shake. But then he remembered the long hours when Tony had disappeared into his lab, refusing to let anyone in, especially Loki. Normally Loki was the only exception

“You would ruin your present, that’s what. After all the time I spent on it too.” Tony’s expression was edged with hurt. Loki set the box down carefully before reaching for the man and tugging him closer. Pressing a kiss to his forehead, he rubbed Tony’s arms soothingly.

“It’s alright, I didn’t shake it, I promise to not shake it until I open it,” Loki said softly. Tony grumbled, then sighed and leaned into the embrace. “It’s our first Christmas. I just wanted it to be kind of special.”

“It’s already special with you here,” Loki whispered. Tony jerked his head up before smiling, one of those genuine smiles that wasn’t a smirk. It always caused Loki to catch his breath for just a moment. Not able to resist, the god swooped down and claimed Tony’s lips in a searing kiss.

After a few seconds in which the billionaire just stood there in shock, he staggered back with a gasp, cheeks just barely flushed pink.

“What was that for?” he sputtered.

“Nothing. Just felt like it,” Loki said nonchalantly. For the next two days Loki couldn’t stop thinking about what Tony had worked so hard to fit into that box. On Christmas Eve, Loki was especially enthusiastic when he went down on Tony. They both slept well that night.

Christmas morning, Loki is woken up by Tony holding coffee under his nose, a huge smile on his face. “Rise and shine, time to open presents! You know, most gifts are open by now.”

Loki raised an eyebrow, still half in whatever he was dreaming, and made an inquisitive sound. “Because I let you sleep in, slow poke. Come on, up and at them.”

Loki growled, but swung his legs out of bed anyways, refusing to admit to himself that he was eager to open his presents. The only one he wanted to see was the brightly colored box however. He was fairly sure he knew the contents of all the rest.

Shuffling into the living room, he found Tony sitting on the couch, the tree lit up and presents spread out beneath it. He made his way over to the mortal and sat down beside him. A present was shoved into his hands, with an excited “Open it, open it!” coming from the man beside him. Flicking an amused look his way, Loki nonetheless proceeded to open it, and all the rest that were shoved at him until they reached the box.

Tony paused as he picked it up, his back to Loki. “I hope you like it... if you don’t, that’s all right, we can always find something else for you,” the billionaire said softly. He turned and presented the gift to Loki, who took it with a certain sense of ceremony. Carefully he unwrapped the present, face twisting into a confused expression before lightening as he realized what it was. He was speechless at the care and thoughtfulness that had obviously gone into the gift.

“Tony...” He breathed.

“Don’t worry about hurting my feelings if you don’t like it,” Tony said slowly, expression confused at the silence.

Loki turned to the man, expression surprised. “How could I not like it? It is incredible Tony, I can’t believe you’d do this for me,” Loki said breathlessly, throwing his arms around his mortal. Tony sighed in relief, and wrapped his arms around Loki.

“Thank god. I was hoping it wouldn’t bring back bad memories,” Tony said quietly, with a slightly concerned look up at Loki.

The god hummed before answering, “No.. I might not have the greatest memories of the people but Asgard itself..” He picked up the miniature replica of Asgard that Tony had painstakingly worked on for the past few weeks, and peeked through the miniature halls that he had wandered as a child. He knew all the best places to escape to, and smiled at some of the better memories. He turned the miniature palace around, than pointed.

“Here, I hid from Thor after turning all his clothes into dresses. Odin didn’t think it was very funny, but Frigga...” Loki’s voice softened. “Frigga thought it was funny, so she took my side and defended me.”

The god smiled and turned to Tony, pulling him in for a kiss. “Thank you,” he whispered softly against his lips. Tony smiled and just tugged him closer for another kiss. 


	3. Better Without Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I took some liberties with this headcanon, hope no one minds ^^;

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok guys, this is one of the darkest ones I've done for this 'series' I'm attempting. Just wanted anyone and everyone know that the tags for self harm and suicide are because of this chapter, at this point in the stories. Please, if you can't handle reading it, for whatever reason, then don't, as I never post these with the intent of hurting people.

********  
  
  


It started when Tony was once again, made terribly vulnerable with the arc reactor being so accessible to the villains he and the team fought daily. The protective covering was shattered and if it weren’t for quick action taken by Steve, the reactor would’ve been ripped out of Tony’s chest.

When Loki heard about it, he turned to Tony, face pale, and grabbed him close, examining him for any injuries.

“I’m fine, I’m fine, no need to worry. Everything is good, we caught the slimy bastard.” Tony said with a smirk. The team disappeared into their separate bedrooms to recuperate and let them have some privacy.

“Tony, please... let me help you. I can do it, my magic is powerful and you won’t feel a thing.” Loki said quietly.

Tony’s eyes darkened. They had talked of this before, and the last time they had fought over it. Loki had been pissy for weeks after that, but eventually calmed down after Tony said he’d think about it.

“Lokes, please, don’t go into this now.” He said wearily. Loki snarled, and Tony winced as he saw the flush cover Loki’s face. It was only reserved for those times when Loki was extremely bothered or passionate about something.

“You know my reasons Anthony. This wouldn’t affect just you. Look around you!” Loki yelled.

“I know, alright?! You think I’m so blind, but I know it’s not all about myself anymore!” Tony snapped, turning away. “I still won’t do it.”

“You will not refuse. You could’ve died out there! I will not live each day wondering if that is the one you won’t come back to me. Who else will keep the darkness at bay?” The god screamed at him.

“I can, and I will refuse. It is my right, the damn shards are staying where they are.” Tony yelled back. His expression softened though, and he approached Loki with his hands outstretched. “Lokes, come on, you know how much I went through to get them.”

“You should not be proud of them, Tony. They are the balancing act of the strings of your life. One slip and it would be severed.”

Tony breathed deeply, struggling not to just rage heedlessly against his lover. “They shaped me into what I am today. They made me the person I am, the person who loves you. Please, Loki...” but his calls went unheard as the god turned away in disgust when he didn’t hear Tony agreeing to his request and stalked away in a dark temper. He slammed his way out of the building and set off on a walk, not sure where to go, just seeking to get away and clear his head.

Tony sank down onto a chair behind him. No doubt the team would be barricaded in their rooms after hearing that outburst. He had a couple hours before Loki came back, and anyone bothered to check things out. He grabbed a bottle of whiskey, then paused mid step and went back, grabbing a bottle of scotch as well before stomping down to the lab.

********  
  


Two hours later Tony lay in a heap against a desk, contemplating the sad fuck up that was his life. A bottle lay smashed beside him where he had fumbled and dropped it before sliding down beside the mess. He picked up a shard and turned it around, hissing when he fumbled and cut himself.

He stared dazedly at the blood. The darkness that was always lurking piped up, ‘Perhaps it would be better if you just ended everything.’ it purred.

He clenched his eyes shut in pain. Perhaps it would be. It would happen anyways, sooner or later. He closed his hand, grasping the edges tight in his hand. Blood dripped, and he cried out before holding his breath and using the sharp edge to cut, cut, until he finally let it drop, sliding to the side in a blur. He was numb now, and the warmth of the alcohol was fleeting.

His vision was fuzzy and narrowing. Darkness hovered at the edge of his vision, and he smiled, peaceful at the thought of ending the pain. Without him in their lives, so many people would be happier, he was sure of it. He closed his eyes with a last sigh, succumbing to the whispers of the darkness.

 ** ******  
~~~~~~~~  
  


Loki strode along the streets of New York, away from the Tower as fast as he could go. He was disguised slightly now, hair short and ginger colored. Slightly disconcerted when people still looked at him, he was on edge until he saw a pair of girls pointing and giggling at him with lust in their eyes. He rolled his eyes and walked on, relieved that it wasn’t what he thought it was.

He walked aimlessly, for how long he wasn’t sure until he came upon a small coffee shop, which he ducked inside to get something to warm himself up. He walked up to the counter and ordered, gazing at the menu until he dropped his gaze and noticed the barista taking his order was wearing an Iron Man shirt.

“Nice shirt,” he commented off hand to her. She looked up, startled, then smiled.

“Thanks! Mr. Stark saved my life once. I’ve never been able to thank him, but I hope someday he knows how grateful I am.”

Loki lifted an eyebrow at this. “Indeed,” he murmured. “I’m sure he’s got many people grateful to him for saving their lives.” Including me, he thought to himself. He slipped a couple bills out of the wallet he had conjured into his pocket and gave them to her. She looked at them and her eyes went wide.

“Sir, this is too much, your bill is only three dollars-”

“Keep it,” he said with a small smile before turning away.

“But-” She stuttered.

He gave her a look over his shoulder and she closed her mouth with a snap.

“Thank you!” She called after him.

“No, thank you.” he said softly as he went out the door. He didn’t have his drink, but suddenly the need to get back to Tony was overwhelming him. He doubted he could ever understand what went on in Tony’s mind, part of what made him so fascinating, but this... perhaps he finally had a glimpse into why Tony was so resistant to letting go of the shards that reminded him of the humanity inside himself.

Tony had become an anchor for Loki, but Loki often forgot how dark the man’s past was, forgot that he was in need of an anchor as well. ‘Tony... Tony, I’m so sorry. I didn’t see it until now. Please forgive me.’

Loki walked faster and faster, until he was almost running back to the Tower, ignoring the looks he got now. He needed to physical exertion, feeling if he just teleported back it would be too easy somehow. He didn’t realize how far he had gotten until he saw the Tower looming a short distance away. He pushed himself, uncaring of the people who parted to let him through the crowds, who called after him, pulled at his sleeve as he slipped past.

He arrived at the front door and stopped, inhaling deeply to calm his breathing before opening the door and nodding to the security guard at the front. He went to the elevator and pushed the button, jittery and nervous. He assumed it was because of their fight, but the heavy feeling in his gut warned him otherwise. He never got it without good reason.

Closing his eyes, he mentally started counting. The elevator door dinged and he stepped inside, still counting. He was to 300 before the elevator dinged again and he reached the penthouse floor. He walked out into the lush suite and looked around for Tony.

“Tony?” He called tentatively. There was no sound and the room echoed slightly. Anxious, Loki went around looking for the man he loved.

It was only after he had checked all the rooms that he thought of the lab. ‘Of course. Tony will be hammering away at something, blaring that obnoxious music of his.’ Loki thought with slight relief. He went down the stairs, feeling his stomach drop when he didn’t hear the music blaring like it normally would.

“Tony?” He called cautiously. There was no sound, and he couldn’t see the man anywhere. He turned around, wondering what could have happened, when his highly sensitive hearing picked up the slightest moan.

“Tony, I swear-” He said, walking into the lab and maneuvering around the objects in his path. His heart dropped right before he caught sight of the mess of a man that lay before him.

“TONY!” Loki screamed, scrambling to his side and falling to his knees. The mortal was bloodied and pale, far too pale. There were cuts littered up and down his arms, and a large gash on his hand and wrists. Loki looked around and saw the shattered bottle next to him, and the large piece of glass that had fallen from Tony’s hand.

“No, Tony-” He rasped, the heat of the moment overwhelming him slightly. He shook his head and growled.

“I will NOT let you do this to yourself dammit! I won’t live this life without you, you foolish mortal.” He breathed, gathering Tony up in his arms, whispering a few words to clean up the blood and glass embedded in his skin from falling over into the mess. He teleported them to the bedroom, and lay Tony gently on the bed. Loki stood above him and closed his eyes, gathering his magic around him. He muttered a complex healing spell, lost in concentration until he spoke the last closing words and swayed. He fell into the bed beside Tony and gathered him close, breathing a sigh of relief at the sight of the marks gone from Tony’s skin. He had been closer to death than Loki cared to think about.

The god closed his eyes, exhausted and let himself sleep, alert to the slightest movement from his lover.

********  
  


Tony slowly opened his eyes. He lay on something soft, and familiar smells surrounded him. He winced and shifted, blinking in confusion. He was on his bed, in his bedroom. When had he gotten there? Had it all been just a dream?

****

“You’re awake.” He heard this seconds before he was embraced, and he relaxed into the familiar arms of the god, hearing his heart beating frantically in his chest.

“Lokes...” Tony paused, unsure what to say.

“You blasted son of a bitch!” Loki sudden growled, tearing him away and holding him at arms length. “Were you trying to die and leave me alone?”

Tony stilled. “I thought things would be better that way,” he admitted quietly.

Loki stared at him. He knew it had to have been self inflicted, but the level of shame and anguish in Tony’s eyes shook him.

“No... oh Tony, no, nothing would be worse than you leaving. And not just for me.” Loki whispered hoarsely, gathering him close once more.

Tony buried his nose in Loki’s chest breathing in his scent deeply, content to just stay where he was. Loki scooted him aside and lay in the bed with him, carding his hands gently through Tony’s hair, smiling at the almost purr the man emitted.

“Tony.” He said softly.

“Hmm?” the man mumbled into his chest.

“Tony, please... forgive me?”

Tony’s head shot up. “No,” he breathed, and Loki’s heart dropped. He made to move away, but Tony gripped his shoulders suddenly and continued.

“No, because what you say is true. I am vulnerable, and I don’t care to think about what would happen if I died. There’s... there’s a darkness inside me, and that side got the best of me last night.” He stopped, and Loki felt a fine tremor pass through him. Tony turned his face away and continued in a ragged voice.

“I need you, just as much as you need me. I’ve hurt so many people, and I can’t right those wrongs, or bring them back, but these shards-”

Loki put a hand on Tony’s mouth after gently tugging his head around so they were looking each other in the eyes and shook his head. “I understand that now. You don’t need to worry about it, I get why you’re doing it. I... had a revelation while I was out. There are people out there you’ve saved you know. They’re grateful, and they still have their lives.”

Tony’s eyes closed and he slumped back onto the pillows. “It never feels adequate,” he mumbled. Loki combed a hand through his hair, and made soothing noises until he felt the man next to him relax in sleep again.

“You’ll have more than enough time to pay back what is due,” Loki whispered thoughtfully, thinking of Golden Apples, consequences be damned,  and what he would do to keep this man by his side. “And I’ll be with you every step of the way.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I'm open to tag suggestions!


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